Thursday, August 25, 2011

Family Matters

I've had something on my mind for a while now, but with all the busyness lately haven't had the time to sit down and write about it.

About a week and a half ago, a friend of mine, who is openly gay, posted a comment on Facebook.  He expressed his frustration with the LDS Church for getting involved in gay marriage, stating that it does not affect the Church and is none of their business.  He is not anti LDS by any means and generally thinks well of the Church, so this comment came out of real frustration.  Of course there were many comments that followed his, some commending him for speaking up, some agreeing that all people have the right to choose, and some defending more or less the actions of the Church.  I also made a comment explaining my feelings that the Church has as much right to make a statement against gay marriage as others have to make a statement for it. Furthermore, the leaders of the Church have a responsibility to teach true principles about the family and marriage, which at times can appear to interfere in the lives of others, to those who don't agree with the teachings.

My friend then responded that the teaching of principles wasn't what bothered him, it was that the Church was "attacking" gays by going against Prop 8 and other such issues. 

This is what really got me thinking, and has since been on my mind.  Is the Church "attacking" people when it makes statements or encourages its members to get involved in issues such as gay marriage?  I have never felt so, but the word attack seemed so strong that I began to wonder how to better teach those principles so that it does not appear to attack the beliefs of others.

While reading in the June 2011 Ensign a few days ago, I found an article titled, "Defending the Family in a Troubled World" by Elder Bruce D. Porter, of the Seventy, that helped to answer my question.  As this post is already getting a bit long, I just wanted to highlight a few parts of the article that really stood out to me and helped me to better understand why the Church does what it does in these situations.

Elder Porter says:

"Latter-day Saints have been blessed with revealed truths regarding families that remain unknown to the world at large. We understand that the family is an eternal institution ordained by God from before the foundation of the world, with the potential to continue on forever beyond this mortal sphere. Happy, loving families, though imperfect and falling short of the ideal, are the closest thing we have on earth to a small-scale model of eternity, a tiny seed of unimaginable glory to come.

We also know that gender, as declared in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” is “an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” The differences between men and women are not simply biological. They are woven into the fabric of the universe, a vital, foundational element of eternal life and divine nature."
...
"We live in a day when the love of many, even toward their own children, is waxing cold; a day when so many people love pleasures more than God; a day when good is called evil and evil good. Those who defend the traditional family, who stand for fidelity and chastity and all that once was considered wholesome and praiseworthy are mocked and ridiculed. On the other hand, those who see no problem with fatherless homes, who advocate abortion, who fight all attempts to limit pornography, and who seek to redefine the very essence of what a family is, are praised and upheld as champions of tolerance. Truly, the world has turned upside down."
...
"Yet the messages we constantly hear in media, entertainment, and advertising sound like this:

“You’re number one.”
“Do your own thing.”
“You’re special.”
“Find yourself.”

Such messages are so pervasive that we unconsciously absorb them and sometimes repeat them. Yet they are diametrically opposite from the message of the Savior, as recorded in similar language in every one of the four gospels: “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39)."
...
"In Lehi’s vision of the tree of life, he saw a strait and narrow path leading to the tree of life, which represented the love of God (see 1 Nephi 8:20; 11:21–22). The world at large is not interested in any moral path that is strait and narrow, but prefers its avenues to be as broad as possible. Latter-day Saints are often accused of narrow-mindedness or lack of tolerance and compassion because of our belief in following precise standards of moral behavior as set forth by God’s prophets. Let us consider, therefore, what is meant by the strait and narrow path.
God has given His children commandments, laws, and revelations that define the pathway leading back into His presence. His laws and commandments are intended to bless us, to uplift us, and to bring us joy. They mark the path of safety amidst the storms and mists of mortal existence. This means that the strait and narrow path is a path of divine love, a path laid down by a God of perfect charity, whose only desire is to bless. To the degree that any human being strays from that path, he or she inevitably experiences inner conflict, distress, and loneliness. To leave the strait and narrow path is to leave the one path congruent with our own eternal nature. When we invite people to lay aside the things of the world and come unto Christ, we are inviting them to the one sure path that leads to lasting joy and inner peace.
To some the very idea of a strait and narrow path will seem intolerant of those who choose different paths. By holding up a divine ideal of what family ought to be, they claim we are guilty of intolerance toward those who choose other paths, other standards, other definitions of right and wrong. But is this really true?
Until recently in our national history, tolerance referred to racial and religious non-discrimination. It meant civility in the political arena; in other words, respecting the right of others to express their views, even if we do not agree with them. It meant treating all people with decency and respect. Such tolerance is an important and vital part of our American heritage.

Today, however, the world is in danger of abandoning all sense of absolute right or wrong, all morality and virtue, replacing them with an all-encompassing “tolerance” that no longer means what it once meant. An extreme definition of tolerance is now widespread that implicitly or explicitly endorses the right of every person to choose their own morality, even their own “truth,” as though morality and truth were mere matters of personal preference. This extreme tolerance culminates in a refusal to recognize any fixed standards or draw moral distinctions of any kind. Few dare say no to the “almighty self” or suggest that some so-called “lifestyles” may be destructive, contrary to higher law, or simply wrong."
...
"In the Family Proclamation, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declare, “We warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” The Church is a small institution compared with the world at large. Nevertheless, the Latter-day Saints as a people should not underestimate the power of our example, nor our capacity to persuade public opinion, reverse negative trends, or invite seeking souls to enter the gate and walk the Lord’s chosen way. We ought to give our best efforts, in cooperation with like-minded persons and institutions, to defend the family and raise a voice of warning and of invitation to the world. The Lord expects us to do this, and in doing so to ignore the mocking and scorn of those in the great and spacious building, where is housed the pride of the world."
...
There is so much more to the article than just what I have included, so I hope you will read it in full.  It truly testifies of the family as God designed it and the importance it plays in our lives.  Elder Porter invites us all to not just have tolerance, but greater love and charity towards those around us.  He also testifies of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the magnificent role it plays in the Plan of Salvation and within our families.

When the Church teaches and even encourages its members to speak out against what we know to reject God's plan for his children, (including gay marriage), it is not an attack, it is because we know of the immense blessings that come from keeping His commandments and living as he asks us to.  I know that marriage, between a man and a woman, is ordained of God and that the family is a vital part of His plan for us.

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