Throwback Thursday: Us

We met at Snow College, a small town school about two hours south of Salt Lake City, in the fall of 2007. At first, I wasn't interested. Phil was pretty quiet, but when he did talk it was usually about sports. Not that I don't like sports, but they aren't really my thing. I came to the conclusion that he was just a dumb jock and didn't think much more about it.

As time went by though, we started spending more time together as friends, and before long he asked me out on our first date (a story I will have to save for another post). The more I got to know him, the more I liked him. He wasn't any of the stereotypes I had categorized him in, but instead just a really nice, really good guy.

I actually had a goal not to date anyone that semester because I would be graduating in December 2007 and then spending the next five months in St. Petersburg, Russia. I didn't want a long distance relationship. Not only that, but I had always hoped to serve a full time mission, and didn't want anything to interfere with that goal. But, I couldn't quite bring myself to end things completely with Phil. We decided to keep in touch while I was in Russia and then see how things were when I got back.

It was hard. I missed him so much, and I knew that I wanted us to be together.

After Russia I moved back up to Utah, to be close to Phil and to work and look into continuing school at the University of Utah. But my desire to serve a mission was still strong. Sometimes I tried to ignore it, sometimes I just put it off, thinking I would deal with it when I actually turned 21 (the age requirement at the time for young women to serve), sometimes I though, I knew that it was what I was going to do and I just needed to accept it.

After dating for another 4 months, Phil got more serious and one night brought up our future and marriage. In that moment I knew that as much as I wanted to be with him, I needed to serve the Lord. The very next day I started the paperwork and by the middle of November 2008 I had received an assignment to serve in Spain.

It was painful to leave Phil. My heart ached for him. I thought of him every day that I was in Spain, but I never once regretted my decision. I knew it was the right thing to do, for both of us. One of Phil's best qualities is his loyalty. I knew that he truly cared about me, but I also knew that if he met someone else while I was gone, it wouldn't just be some floozy thing. He wouldn't play around, he would be serious and it would be right. Knowing that made it only sweeter when I came home and he still wanted to be with me.

We didn't waste any time. We were married 3 months after I returned home from Spain, and have never looked back. All the time we had to spend apart has only made our time together sweeter. How lucky I am to be part of us.

Peace in the temple

I was so grateful this week when our good friends offered to watch Luke so that Phil and I could go out. We decided to use the time to go to the Mesa temple and then go eat at one of our favorite restaurants, Cafe Rio. We haven't been able to go to the temple since before Luke was born so it was a much needed trip.

If nothing else, the temple always provides me an opportunity to reflect and ponder. Phil will be graduating in two weeks, but hasn't found a job yet. We have been trying to decide what our next steps will be. Sometimes with the busyness and stress of life it can be hard to know if you are making the right decisions. In the temple it is quiet and peaceful. Gospel principles are taught and sacred covenants are renewed. It feels like everything slows down for just a little while and it is easier to consider our choices and make the best decisions.

We don't know everything that the next few months will hold for us, but we have each other and I feel confident that The Lord will continue to bless us and guide us on our way. 

Una boda

I have been thinking about writing this post for a while and I am so glad I finally have some time to do it!  Well, lets see...where to begin....

I was in my third transfer, second area on my mission when I met Glenda and Manuel. I had served in a small town called Parla previously and there had helped prepare two little girls for baptism, however I was transferred to Barrio 8 before their actual baptism date. I really wanted to go back to see them be baptized, and we probably could have gotten permission to do so, but for some reason I just decided that we would stay in B8 and help the Elders with a baptism they had that same night.  Hna. Sharp, Hna. Barnes and I were working around the temple that day and then planned to stick around to help with the baptism and that is when we met Glenda and Manuel.  

They appeared on the temple grounds looking for help.  We met them and began to talk and they told us that they wanted to talk to someone about their relationship because they had been going through some hard times and needed some counsel.  We asked them to stay for the baptism and then they would have an opportunity to speak with the Bishop.  They stayed and we got to know them more.  We found out that Manuel was a member of the church, but hadn't really attended for years.  Glenda was not a member, but was open to learning more.  They had spoken to a leader of a different church before coming to ours and he had told them they should just separate.  They didn't want that. I don't know what our Bishop told them that night, but he did not tell them to separate and I think it gave them hope. 

Just to be clear, when we met Glenda and Manuel, they were not very happy.  They were far from their children in Honduras and were struggling in their relationship.  We began to teach them the missionary lessons and they started to read the Book of Mormon. I will always remember the change we saw in them.  They were happier and had hope that they hadn't had before.  I remember one day when Glenda called us just to tell us that she had had a hard time sleeping the night before because she felt anxious, but she started to read the Book of Mormon and she felt peace.  They started to talk about one day being sealed in the temple and having an eternal family.  They were completely different people from those we met that first night at the baptism.

Glenda wanted to be baptized, but she and Manuel needed to get married first so they started working on the paperwork.  I don't know all the laws, but it takes a lot of time to get married in Spain, especially if you are from a different country.  However, little by little they made progress toward marriage.  They kept attending church and made friends in the ward.  After 7 transfers in B8 (about 10 months) I moved to another area.  But, I still had some opportunities to visit Glenda and Manuel.

 They were always happy to see me and I was always happy to see them.  I often thought about, and still wonder, what would have happened if we had gone back to Parla that night instead of staying for the Elders baptism? Would someone else have helped Glenda and Manuel? Would they have separated instead of working through the hard times? I felt at the time that I had missed out by not going to Parla, I wished that I had gone instead.  But then something wonderful happened.  I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who knew so much better than I did why it was that I needed to stay in B8 that night. 

Glenda and Manuel were married last Saturday, March 31, 2012. 

I am SO happy for them.  I know that one day they will be sealed in the temple and have an eternal family. ¡Felicidades Glenda y Manuel!  ¡Les quiero muchisimo! 

I really enjoyed watching General Conference this weekend.  It's always a good refresher and reminder of what my priorities should be.  I took a few notes, but I'm looking forward to reading the talks again when they are published. There were several talks that I especially enjoyed, though only one of which I want to mention now.  It was the talk by Elder Neil L. Anderson, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  He talked about families and the importance of having a family, and raising children, even though society all too often tells us that children aren't necessary, let alone important.  He reminded us that having children is one of God's greatest commandments and that couples need not worry so much about having a nice house and great job before having children.  If they are living righteously, the Lord will bless them and provide for their needs.

I'll be graduating next August, and people ask me all the time what I am going to do once I'm done with school (part of that may be because may major is not something that implies what kind job I'll have).  I love my major (International Studies) and I'm learning a lot, but I don't have a dream job already lined up.  What I really want to tell people most of the time is that I want to be a mom. I look forward to having children and raising them in a good home. I hope I can be lucky enough to stay home with them and give them the attention they will deserve.  I doubt I appreciated it when I was younger, but I look back now and realize how grateful I am that my mom was able to stay home with my brothers and I.  

Homemaking sounds old fashioned, but I want to be a homemaker.  And I think there's a lot more to it than most expect.  One of my favorite talks is by Douglas L. Callister called "Your Refined Heavenly Home".  I first read it while I was on my mission, and have read it several times since.  It reminds us that we are all children of our Heavenly Father and that one day, hopefully, we will return to live with Him.  He explains that it is oh so important that we prepare our homes and ourselves here on earth so that we will feel comfortable in His presence and His home.  

Our home is far from perfect.  We live in a small apartment, and all too often my clutter is seen everywhere.  But, we try to keep it clean and worthy of the Spirit.  I try to make dinner so that we can eat a good meal together and we try to spend time in positive activities.  How wonderful it will be to have children and teach them of the Gospel and their Heavenly Father, something that so many homes today don't know about. 

I'm so grateful to belong to the Church of Jesus Christ, the church that teaches true principles about the importance of family and following God's commandments.

Mission Memories

Well, I have officially been home from my Mission for ONE YEAR!  I can't believe how fast it has gone.  I still think about my mission, my companions, and all the people I met all the time, and it feels like it was just a few weeks ago that I was there.  Sometimes, I just Really, Really miss it.  So, I thought I would post a few pictures, mostly in honor of my companions who made my mission so much of what it was and still is to me:

My First Companion (in the MTC) Hermana Ball!

My Trainer, teaching me how to eat a Napolitana, Hermana Allred!

In a trio for one week with Hermana Barnes and Hermana Miller!

Then it was a trio with Herman Barnes and Hermana Sharp!

Then just the Two of Us, Me and Hermana Barnes!

I "greenie-broke" Hermana Schiffler after she was trained, and we had SO much fun!

My last companion, Hna Read, who I can't WAIT to see again (she's coming home this month!)

Each of my companions helped me so much, in so many ways, and are all still dear friends of mine.  I will always be grateful for choosing to serve a mission, and so grateful to the Lord who saw me through it.

Family Matters

I've had something on my mind for a while now, but with all the busyness lately haven't had the time to sit down and write about it.

About a week and a half ago, a friend of mine, who is openly gay, posted a comment on Facebook.  He expressed his frustration with the LDS Church for getting involved in gay marriage, stating that it does not affect the Church and is none of their business.  He is not anti LDS by any means and generally thinks well of the Church, so this comment came out of real frustration.  Of course there were many comments that followed his, some commending him for speaking up, some agreeing that all people have the right to choose, and some defending more or less the actions of the Church.  I also made a comment explaining my feelings that the Church has as much right to make a statement against gay marriage as others have to make a statement for it. Furthermore, the leaders of the Church have a responsibility to teach true principles about the family and marriage, which at times can appear to interfere in the lives of others, to those who don't agree with the teachings.

My friend then responded that the teaching of principles wasn't what bothered him, it was that the Church was "attacking" gays by going against Prop 8 and other such issues. 

This is what really got me thinking, and has since been on my mind.  Is the Church "attacking" people when it makes statements or encourages its members to get involved in issues such as gay marriage?  I have never felt so, but the word attack seemed so strong that I began to wonder how to better teach those principles so that it does not appear to attack the beliefs of others.

While reading in the June 2011 Ensign a few days ago, I found an article titled, "Defending the Family in a Troubled World" by Elder Bruce D. Porter, of the Seventy, that helped to answer my question.  As this post is already getting a bit long, I just wanted to highlight a few parts of the article that really stood out to me and helped me to better understand why the Church does what it does in these situations.

Elder Porter says:

"Latter-day Saints have been blessed with revealed truths regarding families that remain unknown to the world at large. We understand that the family is an eternal institution ordained by God from before the foundation of the world, with the potential to continue on forever beyond this mortal sphere. Happy, loving families, though imperfect and falling short of the ideal, are the closest thing we have on earth to a small-scale model of eternity, a tiny seed of unimaginable glory to come.

We also know that gender, as declared in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” is “an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” The differences between men and women are not simply biological. They are woven into the fabric of the universe, a vital, foundational element of eternal life and divine nature."

...

"We live in a day when the love of many, even toward their own children, is waxing cold; a day when so many people love pleasures more than God; a day when good is called evil and evil good. Those who defend the traditional family, who stand for fidelity and chastity and all that once was considered wholesome and praiseworthy are mocked and ridiculed. On the other hand, those who see no problem with fatherless homes, who advocate abortion, who fight all attempts to limit pornography, and who seek to redefine the very essence of what a family is, are praised and upheld as champions of tolerance. Truly, the world has turned upside down."

...

"Yet the messages we constantly hear in media, entertainment, and advertising sound like this:

“You’re number one.”

“Do your own thing.”

“You’re special.”

“Find yourself.”

Such messages are so pervasive that we unconsciously absorb them and sometimes repeat them. Yet they are diametrically opposite from the message of the Savior, as recorded in similar language in every one of the four gospels: “He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39)."

...

"In Lehi’s vision of the tree of life, he saw a strait and narrow path leading to the tree of life, which represented the love of God (see 1 Nephi 8:20; 11:21–22). The world at large is not interested in any moral path that is strait and narrow, but prefers its avenues to be as broad as possible. Latter-day Saints are often accused of narrow-mindedness or lack of tolerance and compassion because of our belief in following precise standards of moral behavior as set forth by God’s prophets. Let us consider, therefore, what is meant by the strait and narrow path.

God has given His children commandments, laws, and revelations that define the pathway leading back into His presence. His laws and commandments are intended to bless us, to uplift us, and to bring us joy. They mark the path of safety amidst the storms and mists of mortal existence. This means that the strait and narrow path is a path of divine love, a path laid down by a God of perfect charity, whose only desire is to bless. To the degree that any human being strays from that path, he or she inevitably experiences inner conflict, distress, and loneliness. To leave the strait and narrow path is to leave the one path congruent with our own eternal nature. When we invite people to lay aside the things of the world and come unto Christ, we are inviting them to the one sure path that leads to lasting joy and inner peace.

To some the very idea of a strait and narrow path will seem intolerant of those who choose different paths. By holding up a divine ideal of what family ought to be, they claim we are guilty of intolerance toward those who choose other paths, other standards, other definitions of right and wrong. But is this really true?

Until recently in our national history, tolerance referred to racial and religious non-discrimination. It meant civility in the political arena; in other words, respecting the right of others to express their views, even if we do not agree with them. It meant treating all people with decency and respect. Such tolerance is an important and vital part of our American heritage.

Today, however, the world is in danger of abandoning all sense of absolute right or wrong, all morality and virtue, replacing them with an all-encompassing “tolerance” that no longer means what it once meant. An extreme definition of tolerance is now widespread that implicitly or explicitly endorses the right of every person to choose their own morality, even their own “truth,” as though morality and truth were mere matters of personal preference. This extreme tolerance culminates in a refusal to recognize any fixed standards or draw moral distinctions of any kind. Few dare say no to the “almighty self” or suggest that some so-called “lifestyles” may be destructive, contrary to higher law, or simply wrong."
...

"In the Family Proclamation, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declare, “We warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.” The Church is a small institution compared with the world at large. Nevertheless, the Latter-day Saints as a people should not underestimate the power of our example, nor our capacity to persuade public opinion, reverse negative trends, or invite seeking souls to enter the gate and walk the Lord’s chosen way. We ought to give our best efforts, in cooperation with like-minded persons and institutions, to defend the family and raise a voice of warning and of invitation to the world. The Lord expects us to do this, and in doing so to ignore the mocking and scorn of those in the great and spacious building, where is housed the pride of the world."

...
There is so much more to the article than just what I have included, so I hope you will read it in full.  It truly testifies of the family as God designed it and the importance it plays in our lives.  Elder Porter invites us all to not just have tolerance, but greater love and charity towards those around us.  He also testifies of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the magnificent role it plays in the Plan of Salvation and within our families.

When the Church teaches and even encourages its members to speak out against what we know to reject God's plan for his children, (including gay marriage), it is not an attack, it is because we know of the immense blessings that come from keeping His commandments and living as he asks us to.  I know that marriage, between a man and a woman, is ordained of God and that the family is a vital part of His plan for us.

A few days ago I started writing a blog about how frustrated I am with the Government and President Obama and all the new laws and requirements that are being passed. I felt like I needed to make my voice heard because so often I feel like we only hear the garbage on TV or from the media and I wanted to share what I felt like is the truth about things right now.  But something about my blog just didn't feel right, so I didn't post it.

I've been reading in the Book of Ether in the Book of Mormon and it talks about how one king succeeds another, some are righteous, some are wicked.  The story in Ether follows the trend of the Book of Mormon: when a righteous king is in power, the people prosper and are blessed, when a wicked king is in power, the people suffer and evil prevails. Even after thousands of years things haven't changed much.

Chapter 12 describes Ether's efforts to persuade the people to repent and return to believe in God, "For he did cry from the morning, even until the going down of the sun, exhorting the people to believe in God unto repentance lest they should be destroyed..." It sounded pretty hopeless, kind of like how I have been feeling about our country lately.  But, then Ether went on to say, "Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God" (Ether 12:3-4).

I am worried about the future of my country and I do want to support righteous people and fight the evil that is in the world, but maybe I wasn't going about it the right way. What I really need to do is live righteously and invite others to do so as well, just as Ether did, and in that way I can hope for a better world.