A post about women's ordination

For some time I have been following the events surrounding the Ordain Women movement and its founder Kate Kelly. Kelly has recently been excommunicated for her actions, and while my heart breaks for her and her followers, I can't say that I didn't see it coming.

I feel sad knowing that there are so many women (and some men too) who have such a deep misunderstanding of the Priesthood. Its not wrong to wonder why women aren't ordained to Priesthood offices, I have had the question myself. But my questions led me to study the scriptures and teachings given by modern-day prophets. Rather than become convinced that women deserve to be ordained, I have gained a greater appreciation for the differences between men and women and their roles in the church, family and society.

We hear the word "equality" thrown around a lot these days. There is always someone, somewhere insisting that they should be treated the same as someone else. The fact is, "equality" and "sameness" have two distinct definitions. While the world may have its own definitions, in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, being equal means that all people, men and women, have the same opportunity to receive exaltation.

"...and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile." (2 Nephi 26:33)

The Gospel and its blessings (including Priesthood blessings) are for all, but no matter how hard some may try, men and women will never be the same.

"All human beings--male and female--are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

If gender is essential to our eternal identity, is it so hard to believe that gender roles are also essential? Men and women are different and therefore have different roles. I am not just talking about statistical differences in everyday life, (for example more men tend to work as engineers while more women tend to be hairstylists). I am talking about roles, such as Priesthood ordination, given to us by our Heavenly Father when he created us.

On her website, Kate Kelly has a link to the letter that she sent to her Bishopric before they held her disciplinary council. It talks about her life and feelings and why she believes so strongly that her movement is necessary. At one point she talks about her baptism as a child:

"While I loved that day and felt so special to become a member of the Church, one of the things I remember most vividly is that the only thing to wear in my ward building was a white jumpsuit for an adult man. Even as a small girl I was very particular about what I wore. I was very upset that no one had thought that a little girl might be getting baptized and prepared something for her to wear. As I look back I realize that is just a small reflection in my memory of the way in which adult men are treated as the standard mold in the church and everyone else is an 'other.'"

Even as an eight year old, Kate Kelly knew that as a girl, soon to become a woman, she was different than men. While she may have only been focused on a baptismal outfit in her size at the time, her reflection that she did not fit the "male mold" is significant. Men and women are different and those differences matter. But, instead of embracing the differences between men and women that she began to notice that day and seeking to fulfill her divine roles as a daughter of God, she has instead spent years trying to obtain for herself roles appointed only to men. 

What will these women achieve by ordination? They state that they seek equality in the church, but equality already exists. They can never be the same as men, and so their efforts to obtain Priesthood ordination only appear demanding and exhaustive. 

Why not instead seek to better understand their roles as women? Why not try to understand why Heavenly Father has chosen to only ordain men to Priesthood offices? Why not consider that perhaps there is a reason that Christ's church is organized with separate meetings for men and women? Why not find ways to serve with the skills they already possess as women? Why not use the powerful force that they have obtained in the media and internet to teach the world that men and women should be different, should have different powers and abilities given to them, and should each contribute the skills they have to attain one great goal--that is to build the Kingdom of God? 

I rejoice in the truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love the light and hope it brings to my life. I appreciate the wisdom of our Heavenly Father who has created each of his children with their own unique gifts and talents, and I especially am grateful that men and women do hold different responsibilities so that they can better support and uplift one another. I don't know why women are not ordained to Priesthood offices, but I do know that as a woman I have very specific and important roles ( roles that men do not have!) that I must fulfill. I can't waste the time given to me on this earth wishing I had what my husband has. 

Ultimately, I am sorry that there is so much confusion on this issue. I don't think a loving Father in Heaven would ever want his daughters to feel less important than his sons. I hope and pray that any who may question the truth of the doctrine of the Priesthood will find the answers they need and come back to the true church of Jesus Christ. 

Another makeover

I've spent the past week working on a new dresser/changing table for Luke's room. It sure was a good decision to choose an apartment with a big balcony, because I have been spending a lot of time out there with a paintbrush lately.

In our AZ apartment we had a twin bed set up in Luke's room for when family came to visit (or if I was just too tired to make it back to my own bed) and since we didn't have a changing table, we usually just kept the changing pad on one end of the bed and would change Luke there. When we moved to Utah we decided that we didn't want to keep the twin bed anymore, but without it we lost our makeshift changning table and have just been changing Luke on the floor. I have been on the hunt for the perfect dresser that could also double as a changing table, but then just be used as a dresser again when our kids don't wear diapers anymore. Again, ksl classifieds provided just the item I was looking for.

Before:

While it definitely needed some work, I loved this dresser for lots of reasons. It is a good sturdy piece of furniture and just the right height for changing diapers. The  changing pad fits perfectly on top and the railing along the back and sides helps it from sliding around. The drawers needed a little tightening up, but they have plenty of room for diapers, clothes, and extra blankets. And best of all, it only cost me $30. 

It took longer to complete this project than the desk I did a few weeks ago because it needed a little more work. I wanted to change all the pulls to knobs, so I first had to fill the extra holes and drill new ones in the top drawer. Then I tightened up all the tracks on the drawers with gorilla glue and added new side guides to help support them whne they are pulled out. Painting the primer took the longest because the dresser was stained such a dark color and I planned to paint it a light color later on so I had to get it covered really well. I initially thought I would paint the dresser white, but in the end went with a mint green color. It doesn't exactly match Luke's other decor, but it's neutral enough to look nice in his room now, and work for another baby (boy or girl) later on. 

After:

I'm really happy with the outcome, and especially happy to be up off the floor when changing diapers. I'd call that another DIY success.

Why we aren't going to buy a house...yet

Lately we have been asked a lot if and when we are going to buy a house. This questions almost always immediately arises after we tell people that we are living in an apartment. We never got this question in any of our previous apartment homes, but I guess now that Phil is done with school and has a "real" job, apartment living is not considered very cool.

I get it. Owning your own home is part of the American dream. It's a step into adulthood and responsibility. We want to own our own home one day too. But, we have decided that it's going to be a while before that happens. Here's why:

1. We already have a ton of debt. There is no reason to take on more debt when we are trying so hard to get rid of the debt we already have. If we can achieve our goal of paying off our student loans in 5 (or less) years we will start looking to buy a house around that time. 
2. We don't want the extra expenses. Sure, renting can be a hassle at times. You don't get to paint the walls or remodel the way you want. You have other people living literally all around you. You usually don't have a yard. But owning a home can mean a lot of extra expenses that you don't have when renting. There are HOA fees, property taxes, maintenance, and insurance to pay for and those things add up fast. 
3. We don't need or want the extra space. Yes, you read that correctly. We are Americans who don't want an enormous home. Why? Because then we have to furnish that enormous home. Having a smaller space helps us avoid the desire to get more things, which inevitably costs more money. We like to live a simple, minimalistic lifestyle, and we hope that our home and possessions reflect that. Obviously, not all homes are big, so we could buy something small and upgrade later, but that just doesn't make sense to me. It's fairly easy to move into a bigger apartment when you run out of room; it's not always so easy to sell and move out of a smaller home into a bigger home whenever you want. 
4. We like apartment living. I know that sounds crazy to a lot of people, but for us apartment living works at this stage in our lives. We like having someone else do the maintenance. We like the amenities such as a swimming pool, fitness center, and playground. And despite arguments that renting is just throwing away your money, we don't mind paying the monthly rent. The way I see it, paying rent isn't all that different than putting gas in your car. You fill up at the beginning of the month and drive your car everywhere you need to go. Once the tank is empty you don't think, "well that was sure a waste of money", because it wasn't. The money you spent on gas provided you the means to get where you needed to go, just as paying rent each month provides us with a roof over our heads and a nice place to call home. It is money well spent. 

We do want to own our own house one day, and we will. But for now, we are happy to call our apartment home.